Friday, June 20, 2008

"Stay your hand"

“Oh Lord stay your hand. . .

I was thinking about this today. I know for me when life gets tough and the remembrance of my peaceful existence is drowned in the brutal reality of life and its hardships it is easy to plead “Lord please stay your hand”. Recently I have gone through a time in my life where it seems that I and everyone I know have been bombarded with painful situation after painful situation. Situations alone monumental but when stacked up one after another seemingly insurmountable. It is in situations like these that we acknowledge God’s Omnipotence but question His motives. Last week I was at work in a miserable state of mind, I was worn out weary and weak from everything that had been happening and on top of that I was having issues with my job. Life sucked. I was praying for some of my friends and for the situations they were going through when I said in a despairing voice “Lord, please stay your hand I’m being crushed.” Then I felt as though I heard a voice saying “But how then can I hold you? Whether it was thought of my own or something else I don’t know but what I do know is it really made me think. Sometimes we forget that God is our Father as well as being ruler of all things. We see that He orchestrates situations but we fail to see how he cares for us in those same instances. Sometimes it is the hard times that brings us to the Lord, Sometimes life hurts so that we may be drawn closer to Our God, Sometimes we must fall so we may be lifted up higher. Sometimes hurt and comfort go hand in hand and to ask Him to stay one is asking to stay both. I know I was praying for comfort from my situations but also asked that he remove his hand for a moment. It cannot be done. I know I want the Lord to comfort me, so I must also bear through the hard times if only for the sweet moments of being held and comforted by Him who ordains the universe yet cares for one as small as me.

. . . “But how then shall I hold you?”

Sunday, June 8, 2008

An Acronym






Yep. . . and it sucks.

Wednesday, June 4, 2008

Growing Pains.

"Blue, forty two hut hut. . ." It was raining hard. The mud under our feet was ankle deep and rising. It had been four long days since it had started this torrential downpour and it showed no signs of letting up. "Hike" The men on the line leapt forward sending a wall of dark water up behind them. As we tried to hold them back we lost our foothold and fell to the ground. "whoosh" the ball flew through the air and was caught by a virtual behemoth of a man. He stood head and shoulders above everyone there, and in addition to his height he was nearly three feet across. As He caught the ball and sent the mud flying up behind him I looked back on my team and found them floundering in the mud. It was all up to me. I leapt over the prostrate form of my team captain now disfigured beyond all recognition by the mud and sped after my quarry. The mud was up to my shins now, the effort in every step now burned in my calves as I pushed forward through the mire. The object of my exertion was now a mere three yards ahead of me. . now two. . . now less than a yard! I reached out and with the last of my strength made a flying leap toward my prey. The impact was treacherous, raw muscle, sweat and blood all poured from both of us as a last attempt was made to evade my clutch. It was futile, he was going down. The world seemed to stop turning and the rain to fall in slow motion as gravity started to work it's wonders. We were close to the ground and in a futile effort to break my fall I extended my right hand to the ground. . . Impact.

Well At least that was what it seemed like. In all actuality it wasn't raining and the ground was dry. Come to think of it Nick isn't three feet wide. I suppose the only thing that happened exactly as I said was the impact between the ground and my wrist. The result of said impact was extreme pain and swelling, slight discoloration and frayed tendons. Yep a sprain. Funny, now that I am sitting down typing ever so gently and wincing at the pain my thoughts stray to growing pains. Yeah, you know those glorious aches and pains that you were subject to as a child all because your body thought it fit to grow up. Yep now you remember, perhaps you remember waking up in the middle of the night because your legs hurt so bad, or maybe crying uncontrollably because your arm felt like it was gonna fall off. Ah, Glorious Growth.

Recently there have been several incidents in my life that have brought me great pain (apart from the above mentioned maiming) and pain always has a way of making you think. You know, as hard as it seems sometimes the greatest pain in our life can also be associated with the great times of growth. Today I was thinking about the difference between Growth and immediate Change. How many of us are not guilty of at one time or another wishing that things would just immediately be different, perhaps its an event in your life that you wish would just be over with and done. Maybe it is personal growth, the kind that really hurts, the kind that you wish would just be finished. Whatever it may be, no doubt you have wished it at some point or other. I was in that category this afternoon, wishing that I would be able to skip all the buggy beta versions of me (Yes I am a nerd) and jump right to the final product. Then my wrist started to ache and my mind somehow drifted from computer programs to growth pains. Could you imagine if one day you woke up from being a child and suddenly you were full grown? At first it might seem like a beautiful thing but now I ask you to recall those growing pains. The tightness in your chest the pain all over, the tears you shed. Could you imagine having those countless pains and trials and tears all condensed into one day? Don't forget, the pain has to be there, It is a natural response to the changes. My thought Is that our frail forms would not be able to handle it.

You know, I would be the first to say that growth sucks. In fact I would be the chief advocate of a facebook group trying to kill it and replace it with sudden change. But when seen in the light of physical growth with all the pain it entails it suddenly seems a mercy. I know I thought of it like that. For without it being a slow process the small trials we now have that seem so monumental, that seemingly bring us to the point of death, would come crashing down and crush us to a pulp. Wow would have thought that the Lord could even use such a painful thing and make it a mercy? You know. . . sometimes life is funny like that. And how did I get here from telling you about my wrist? Well it all started with a little ache and a wish that all would be well. . .